Sexuality can be a source of pleasure, delight, ease, comfort, connection, joy, adventure, exploration, healing, transformation, and deep intimacy.
It also can be a source of pain, discomfort, sadness, grief, trauma, anxiety, and fear.
Sexuality is an essential aspect of our overall well-being. When we find it to be a positive resource for us, we thrive. When we find it to be a negative experience we wither, shrink, and feel the heaviness of dissatisfaction and disconnection.
For those who struggle in their sexuality, the solutions sought are often misguided. We often look for solutions in the same way we look for satisfaction: disconnected from our creative erotic energy, disconnected from our desire, disconnected from our internal cycles and rhythms, disconnected from our sensations, disconnected from ourselves and disconnected from the cosmic presence.
Approaching sex from a disconnected mindset, leads us to nothing more than emptiness and disappointment. The more we pursue “answers”, quick fixes, techniques, and logical equations for health, wholeness and sexuality, the more disconnected we become from our sensations, from our bodies, and from our erotic truth.
Our intimate partnership with our own sexuality and erotic nature has suffered greatly as we have become more and more distant from its source: the sacred energy found in the Divine Feminine Spirit and Presence.
Sexuality and eroticism lives in the realm and flow of the Divine Feminine Spirit:
In the mystery, in the nuanced, in that soft liminal space of threshold energy, the non-dualistic space of anticipation and trust.
We can reconnect, or connect for the very first time, to this kind of sexuality when we lean into the wisdom of the Divine Feminine. Her wisdom is expressed in the phases of the moon, the changing tides, the rhythms of nature, the power of the elements, the wisdom of the seasons, and the life/death/life cycle that runs through all living things.
When we allow these greater forces born of the Divine Feminine to commune with our body, mind, heart and soul, we begin to connect to a sexuality that is fueled by the cosmic energy of life, light, and love. Instead of reaching for solutions outside of ourselves, we come back home to our true nature and our Wild Belonging.
We pause. We return. We remember. We reclaim. We re-wild our lives so that as the cosmos and the earth breathes and lives, so do we.
Today we all want “good” sex (whatever that means). Just this phrase, “good sex”, severely limits us and disconnects us from the expansive possibilities of our true erotic potential.
In order to create a life of sexual and erotic joy, we must return to the sacred energy found in the spirit of the Divine Feminine, manifested in the world around us and waiting to be discovered within our body. The Divine SHE lives in our lived experiences, our joys and sorrows, our pain and fear. SHE lives in our creativity and our most natural inclinations to follow the beat of our heart, the inspiration of our dreams, and the authenticity of our soul.
If you are interested in creating a new intimate partnership to your sexuality and erotic nature, please reach out to me. I address these things in private therapy sessions with clients as well as through my online Wild Belonging courses, my blog posts, my guided meditations and my sacred sisterhood circles. You can also follow me on Instagram here (@ryancouplestherapy).