The First Step: Defining Sacred Sexuality

Sacred Sexuality Frequently Asked Questions

1. What is Sacred Sexuality?

Sacred Sexuality is a life-long practice of integrating the body and the spirit so that your sexual experiences connect you to yourself and your partner(s) as well as to the energy of life, all in a deeply intimate way.

It is a practice of body love and radical acceptance of self. It is a practice of liberating yourself from shameful, harmful, negative messages about sex. It is a practice of cultivating self-awareness, compassion, and acceptance of your bodily cycles and the rhythms of nature.

It is an affirmation that we are not separate or isolated. But that we are connected to everything in this universe.

I have a Sacred Sexuality Course starting June 22nd 2020. Learn more by visiting my Wild Belonging online course announcement.

2. What do you mean by the integration of body and spirit?

What I mean by this is simply learning how to be both fully embodied, sensually aware and awake while also connected to your internal spirit that is housed in your body.

In practicing sacred sexuality, you are acknowledging that your body and your spirit have tremendous power to work in synchronicity, elevating your lived experience, bringing you into a deep connection with yourself and others, and increasing your capacity to live from a fully awakened connection to the energy of life.

3. How do I integrate body and spirit?

Through breath, through mindful awareness, through radical acceptance of who you are, what you look like, and how you express yourself. By releasing any obstacles, wounds, messaging, shame, and fear that get in your way of living fully connected to your authentic self. Through understanding how your body optimally functions and understanding and lovingly accepting your own desire, arousal, and orgasm patterns and cycles.

4. What is the practice of body love and radical self-acceptance?

Body love is loving your body just as it is NOW, not when your body weighs a specific number, or only when it is youthful or able-bodied. Not only when it fits into the image dictated to us by the patriarchy and by white privilege, heteronormative society.

Cultivating body love is the process of honoring your body’s wisdom and its ability to care for and protect you. It is about letting go of an ideal body image and deeply respecting the body you have.

It is learning how to listen with compassion to what your body needs, the messages it sends you, and the cycles it experiences; cycles of sexual desire and responsiveness is one of the major cycles for our bodies. Learning how to respect and understand your cycle of sexual desire gives you tremendous ability to have sexual experiences when your body is most receptive, most enthusiastic, most open, and most energized.

Sacred Sexuality requires us to be liberated from shame and harmful negative messages and cultural beliefs about sex. How do I do this?

You do this by working to understand all of the influences on your sexuality and sense of self. Some sources are family, religion, culture, ethnicity, education, media, social media, our relationships with others. These influences have tremendous power to shape how you see yourself sexually and how you engage in sexual relationships. The more you can understand and be aware of these influences, the more you become empowered. When empowered, you get to choose if you want to keep these influences as part of your sexual scripts or if you are ready to release some or all of them, and create new positive ones, empowering, liberating and shame-free.

5. What do self-awareness and compassion have to do with Sacred Sexuality?

To create sexual experiences that make you feel fully alive, fully “in-love” with yourself and your partner(s), you must be aware of how you are feeling, what you truly desire, what you do not desire, what turns you on, and what turns you off. You must be in tune with your rhythms and cycles and how they influence your desires.

The more self-aware you are, the more you must cultivate compassion simply because, in yourself-awareness, you will discover both your light and shadow sides. And only with compassion can you truly look at and accept ALL of yourself, the light and the shadow.

When you bring this self-awareness and compassion to your sexuality you are creating a context in which true love, authentic connection, and intimacy can thrive and grow. This is when we become more expansive and can experience a connection to the very pulse of life.