I spend my days helping couples in distress create vibrant and deeply connected relationships. Learning how to be an effective, confident couples’ therapist came from years of training AND...
The two darkest moments of my life: The first was the death of my mother when I was 20 years old; the second was the death of my first marriage 14 years later.
When my mother died, my grief was all consuming… not knowing how to deal with the intense pain, I fell into despair. This indeed was a scary place to be and I knew I needed someone’s support. I just didn’t know who.
My life turned around when I found a therapist who specialized in the grief process. She understood my experience, and had the expert knowledge to help me out of the black hole. Her human-ness along with her expertise were key components in my healing and my ability to move forward. I knew I wanted to be this kind of therapist.
Unfortunately, when my first marriage was dying, my therapy experience was not as helpful, successful or effective. The therapist was not a specialist in couples’ therapy and therefore, did not have the skills to help my husband and me transform our pain into growth, healing and a greater understanding of ourselves and of each other.
Instead, I left the therapy sessions feeling misunderstood, alone and scared of the future: staying in an unsatisfying relationship looked grim, leaving felt worse. Our problems were unsolvable… or so it seemed after therapy.
After the marriage ended, I embarked on a journey to understand why it failed. Because I didn’t have a skilled relationship expert working with me, it took years to understand my part and my tendencies that worked against my own personal growth and against creating authentic intimacy, trust and deep connection with another.
Through my two therapy experiences (one to process grief and one to address marital issues), I learned the expertise of the therapist made the difference between either transforming pain into growth or feeling as if one’s problems were unsolvable.
I want to be there, as a relationship expert, for you. If your relationship is in distress you do not have to be alone in trying to desperately figure it out; or worse, spend lots of money on a therapist who does not have these specialized skills to help, and that might even make you feel worse.
Taking the professional training with the world reknown couples’ therapy experts (Ellyn Bader, PhD and Peter Pearson, PhD of the Couples Institute in Menlo Park California), I started to understand that marital problems aren’t unsolvable AND it doesn’t have to take years for you to create the kind of relationship you are so longing for: one of trust, deep connection, mutually supportive, authentic, strong enough to support each partner be the best they can be.
They taught me the winning combination is this: Having a therapist who personally knows the pain of a troubled relationship and who has the professional training, skills and ability to truly help you take your pain and transform it into tremendous growth, healing and strengthening of your relationship.
My dark moments catapulted me to learn what it takes to climb out of a black hole. Those moments taught me how to transform a troubled relationship from the brink of death to find new life, new energy, new passion and continued growth. As your therapist, I want to be there for you, in the dark moments, and help you and your partner move into a relationship of light, love, mutual support and authentic connection.