Summer Solstice – The Light is Full – Ryan Couples Therapy Tacoma, WA (1)

Summer Solstice: The Light is Full!

Let’s celebrate the fullness of the Light on this day of the  Summer Solstice!

My Practice for 2019

My word for 2019 has been “Light”.  The Summer Solstice is the best day in our year to fully embrace the Light.

I have been practicing all year how to step into my own light more.  I have been practicing how to step into being more joyful, more hopeful, more pleasure-filled, more light-hearted, and more a source of light as I interact with others.

On this day of the Summer Solstice, I plan to celebrate my progress.

For some, this may come naturally, and you may be thinking… “What other way is there to live?”. For others, you may know that you, too, struggle in finding and living from a place of light.

Darkness and Light in Balance

I believe that for all of us, life is filled with both darkness and light. Both are teachers. We tend to prefer moments or days or months and years that are light-filled. We tend to pray for protection from the dark times.

The truth is, however, as humans we need both in order to grow. We need to have moments that are light-filled, joyful, full of ease and peace. We also need to have moments of darkness, grief, uncertainty, heartbreak, anger.

The Darkness as our Teacher

In these moments of darkness, we learn so so much. These moments of darkness are the moments that help us to evolve into more light-filled beings.

They are the times during which we must dive deeply into our heart, our spirit, and our true self to find strength, to believe in the ultimate goodness of the universe when there doesn’t seem to be a reason to, and to look directly into the darkness and trust that we are always held in love, even when we struggle to find this or experience it.

We need to have moments that are light-filled, joyful, full of ease and peace. We also need to have moments of darkness, grief, uncertainty, heartbreak, anger.

My Own Darkness

Last fall, I was in a deep conversation with my own therapist about how much of my life has included times of darkness. At first, this made me feel quite sad, but as we talked, I realized that all these painful experiences have been necessary steps to my own healing and growth.

Some of my dark times included:

  • My mother’s battle with illness from the time I was 9 years old up until she died when I was 20.
  • My father’s narcissism and alcoholism that led me to feel so invisible and worthless.
  • My struggles with anorexia and bulimia in my teen and young adult years.
  • My divorce when I was just 36 and had three young children to raise.
  • My diagnosis with breast cancer in 2015… causing me to stare once again, into the heart of this disease that brought about the death of my mother and my aunt.
  • My own life-long struggles with depression, anxiety, and feeling unworthy.
  • My experience of watching my sister’s challenges in her life and feeling so helpless as I witnessed her pain, tremendous loss, and deep grief; knowing that so much of our collective struggle in this life has been born of the same source.

The Darkness Leads to Light

And yet, not in spite of all of this, but because of all of my experiences, I am the seeker of the Light.

I have learned that the darkness pushes us toward the light like the seeds are pushed through the dark soil into the light of the sun, becoming the best version of themselves.

I have learned how to sit in the darkness without running away or numbing myself and in doing so I have discovered my own strength, my own courage, my own resilience.

Each challenge with the darkness has allowed me to learn, to grow, to heal, and to find my way to my true self.

Each challenge with the darkness has pushed me into my own re-wilding process. The process of learning how to live from my truest spirit and from a true connection to the source of love.

Each experience with the darkness has allowed me to connect to the radiant and exuberant power of this universe. To witness and experience immense healing. To cultivate wisdom (yes, at the age of 56, I can begin to claim some wisdom).

With so much gratitude, at this time in my life I can say, I am living more and more from a place of Light.

I have learned that the darkness pushes us toward the light like the seeds are pushed through the dark soil into the light of the sun, becoming the best version of themselves.

Summer Solstice Brings Us the Light of the Divine Feminine

For all of you who are wanting to do more of this yourselves, the Summer Solstice is the perfect time to begin to do this.

To learn how to live from the light of the Divine Feminine Spirit; the light of Mother Earth; the light of the moon and sun and stars. To learn how to integrate the darkness into the light.

In my own life, I am learning how to integrate and honor my own experiences with both the darkness and the light. As I learn this, I see and feel how it is manifesting in my work, helping my clients to thrive in their intimate, sexual and erotic relationships with themselves and with their partner(s).

How it manifests in my marriage and partnership with my husband.

How it manifests in the joy I feel in being healthy, alive, and fully present for my children in a way that my own mother could not be for me.

How it manifests in my own spiritual journey of embracing the Divine Feminine Essence.

Let’s Release the Darkness

Today is Summer Solstice; marking the fullness of the year’s light.

Today is a time to release the darkness, to release any obstacles that stand in our way of living with joy and light.

It’s time to move toward the light. To celebrate the light of the sun and to come into our own Light.

Every human being is filled with Light. At times, it can elude us. At times, the darkness can seem all-encompassing and never-ending. Most of us struggle to find the light at certain times in our lives. A few never find it at all in this life.

The light reveals itself to us if we become seekers with awake, magical eyes and open hearts.

If we allow the darkness to cultivate the seeds of healing and growth.

If we trust the light is always there, never abandoning us.

If we trust that the light is waiting to cleanse, heal, and lovingly embrace us.

The light reveals itself to us if we become seekers with awake, magical eyes and open hearts.

Summer Solstice Prayer

Today, may we release our fear of the darkness and trust in the gifts it offers us.

May we be cleansed and healed in the light of this day.

May we step fully into our light and live from our most divine, wild and true spirits.

As always, Peace in the Journey,
Jane

P.S. This post is dedicated to the light, courage, and resilience that shines from within my sister, Karen.

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Jane Ryan

Jane Ryan, M.A., LMFT, is a Licensed Couples and Family Therapist with twenty years of clinical experience. She specializes in all kinds of intimate relationships: monogamy, consensual non-monogamy, polyamory, heterosexual, gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, pan, and kink. Jane also specializes in sexual challenges, sacred sexuality, and helping clients embrace their true erotic nature.