Stepping Into the River's Flow Ryan Couples Therapy Tacoma, WA

Stepping Into the River’s Flow

So much of my life has been accepting of and ruled by binary thinking. Either this or that, black or white, light or dark, good or bad, straight or gay, female or male, young or old, healthy or unhealthy.

I realized how much I have been harmed by this rigid way of thinking. How this binary approach to life, leads to a closed-ness and an absoluteness that shuts us off from the flow of spirit, from the source of inspiration and creativity, and from what makes us unique beings.

The striving to fit into socially constructed categories made up by a white supremacist, colonialism, cis-heteronormative mindset requires us all to pursue perfectionism and “fitting in” as the main coping strategies we utilize in order to survive in this world. Ultimately, living this way requires us to abandon our soul.

In awakening to this truth, I realize how harmful this has been to my tender, shy, and creative soul.

When we live from a binary, absolute, rigid expression of ourselves, the soft, nuanced, evolving, and multi-faceted being we are becomes buried, trapped, or invisible.

This spring, I am finding my way into the river’s flow, into the world of expansiveness.

This world is a world that encourages me to embrace the unknown, the “not yet”; the kind of energy that unfolds unhurried, like a rose bud.

This kind of energy comes to us when we slow down, intentionally invite it into our heart and soul-space, and listen.

This energy potently reveals itself in the liminal spaces of our life; the threshold spaces between letting go and birthing. It is a gift from Source, from the DIVINE SPIRIT of light and love and of the erotic life force.

This spring, I am stepping into the river made of these divine, liminal spaces. I am learning how to trust and flow with the river’s current. To trust that I am going exactly where I need to be. Stepping into the flow of the river is all I need to do; the river knows the way.

Stepping into the river invites me to surrender my fear-driven hold on the absolutes and binary ways of thinking and living which have kept me imprisoned.

As I step into the river’s flow, the unfolding feels like this:

Trust… Immersion into the Flow… Letting go and Liberation… Expansiveness and Joy… Expression and Creativity… Mistakes and Learning… Awakening and Transforming… Becoming… Circling back around to Trust…

More and more, I am learning that the flow of Spirit thrives in the complexity, the subtlety, the nuanced, and the quiet whispers; all the things that are beyond our lived experience when we live from rigidity, perfectionism, and absolutes.

More and more I am paying attention to what is not seen, not spoken, not tangible. Instead, I am focusing on feeling into the essence of things.

I am taking a beautiful class by artist and psychic medium, Mary Grisey, called the “Architecture of Remembering”. You can learn more about Mary at

In this class, I am learning so much about stepping into the river’s flow.  Here are just a few highlights:

~ I am learning to open to Spirit, to trust my Soul, to embrace the things not seen.

~ I am learning that the language of Spirit is feeling.

~ I am learning the gift of paying attention to the powerful, life-giving energy of feeling.

~ I am learning how to feel into my body & my relationships & the world I live in, as portals into a soul-led life.

~ I am learning how to feel into the wisdom of my surroundings, the flow of my days, of nature.

~ I am learning how to feel into my soul & my heart.

~ I am learning how to remember the ancient, eternal wisdom of my soul.

~ I am learning how to feel into the presence of Love, Light, of the Source of life and creativity.

By stepping into the river’s flow and “feeling into” my life,  what I discover over and over again is the powerful presence of LOVE.

Love tells me that we all are complex, evolving beings, creative souls in physical bodies, living this life on earth for a divine purpose. Our souls shy away from static definitions, rigid boxes, and absolute categories and long for us to remember, trust and step into the expansiveness of the current.

When we step into the river’s flow, this IS the world of spirit. As we open more and more to the flow, this life-giving, erotic energy leads us home to the landscape of our truest belonging; a landscape that defies definition, labels, and absolutes.

In this season of rebirth and expansion,  a season when our hearts and souls are ready to burst out of the cold, dark ground of winter, perhaps you can meditate and reflect on these questions:

~ What do you need to let go of so that you can step into the river and flow with your Soul’s purpose?

~ What does your Soul yearn for? Is it quiet or rest? Is it expression through writing, making something, dancing, gardening, singing? Is it a deeper connection to loved ones or to nature? Is it making that change or decision you have been putting off? Is it a practice of trust and embracing the unknown?

~ How can you step into the river of flow every day, defying the absolutes and rigid ways of thinking that keep you locked into unhelpful ways of moving, living, and being?

I send you all many blessings in this spring season.

I hope you all celebrate your complex, layered, nuanced, and evolving selves as you step into the river’s flow and find SPIRIT and LOVE.

As always, peace in the journey,

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Jane Ryan

Jane Ryan, M.A., LMFT, is a Licensed Couples and Family Therapist with twenty years of clinical experience. She specializes in intimate relationships, sexual challenges, sacred sexuality, and helping clients embrace their true erotic nature. She supports women in discovering their most radiant, vibrant and powerful feminine essence.