The Erotic Energy of Life – Ryan Couples Therapy Tacoma, WA

The Erotic Energy of Life: True Connection

Erotic energy connects us to the energy of life.

Are you ready to open up and give yourself to the energy of creating, of renewing, of loving? Are you ready to feel what it is like to be so open that you connect to the very energy of life?

If so, you may be ready to explore your erotic nature. Because eros, is the connection to the life force. Being in our erotic truth is entering the realm of true aliveness, vibrant energy, and authentic emotion.

Lately I am thinking a lot about what my path and work will look like as a sex therapist. And as I think about this, I witness a coming together of many of my interests and passions.

The more I have considered the possibilities, the more I experience an organic merging of: my desire to create a connection to the Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine; my desire to live by the cycles of the moon, the earth and the seasons; my desire to accept and surrender to the power of the life/death/life cycle within self and within relationships as the ultimate transformation; my desire to understand and connect with the healing, empowering energy of the erotic.

And as this organic merging of all these desires has taken place in my own life, I have come to realize that these desires are paving the way, and becoming the way for my work.

What is becoming more and more vitally important to me is helping others learn how to allow their true nature and true desires become the way for them to create a life of meaning, a life of love, a life of connection to self, to one’s beloved and to the incredible, healing energy of eros, the life force.

I believe that connecting to eros opens the door for all the rest. The erotic allows us to connect to all things divine, be grounded to the earth’s energy, be nourished by nature, and to create a life of meaning and fulfillment through these connections.

So, how do we connect to eros and thereby connect to our erotic selves?

We connect to eros by being in touch with the life force running through our own bodies. Breath, stillness, awareness lead us here.

We connect to eros by being in touch with the spiritual force of all life that lives in our hearts and souls and runs deeper than the eye can see.

We connect to eros by re-wilding, by seeking solitude, by connecting to nature, beauty and creativity, by speaking our truth, by living from our hearts, and by finding joy when we witness others doing the same.

Once we do this, the erotic self emerges, evolves and thrives.

The emerging, evolving, thriving erotic self helps us to experience the full spectrum of life, not only the parts of life that are made of ease and comfort, but also the parts made of difficulty, darkness, and discomfort. And it empowers us to be strengthened and transformed through experiencing this full spectrum.

The erotic self helps us to embrace the triumphs and the set-backs; the joy and the pain; the receiving and the loss; the known and the unknown.

To become erotic is to become part of the unbreakable threads of unconditional love woven together over all of time and connecting us to the very source of life.

So, how does this look in an intimate relationship?

In the words of Clarissa Pinkola Estes:

“In relationships, if the heart is truly involved, we can create ourselves through each other’s love and create ourselves in new ways…there is a merging, an acceptance of love as a spiritual path, as love being a way of knowing the great and deep self.”

So it seems that eroticism manifested in relationship, creates. It creates the self, it creates other, it creates renewal, it creates a renewed experience of love.

Eroticism manifested in relationship, thrives when we give our hearts fully.

Eroticism manifested in relationship respects the life/death/life cycle as a necessity for healing and for continued growth. It heals the wounded places within self and within the beloved and allows for a transformation, a birthing and dying and re-birthing.

Eroticism manifested in relationship is a merging, not only with our beloved but with ourselves. This merging is all about integrating the light and the dark, the joy and the pain, the knowing and the unknowing. And in this merging, life is sustained and enhanced, understood, experienced.

Eroticism manifested in relationship understands that not only merging, but separate-ness is needed in order for love to be sustained, enhanced and created anew. Balancing the merging with times apart, creates an energy of longing, of valuing, of gratitude, of cherishing.

Eroticism manifested means that we no longer function only on the surface; but we dive into the deepest parts of the unknown even when scared or unsure, and still, allow it to transform us.

Clarissa Pinkola Estes also has said, “Giving the whole heart makes the person become an amazing force, when a lover allows their heart to be used to help create the other…”

And we cannot do this unless we are willing to give completely, freely and without holding back. We cannot open ourselves to the power of our erotic energy by giving half-way, or with measured caution, or waiting to find the perfect moment of reassurance.

By nature, eroticism requires complete openness; complete trust; complete acceptance of our imperfect selves and our beloved. It requires that we leap into the abyss and trust that we will land in a place that is far more rewarding, enlightening and enriching than we could have ever imagined.

Connecting with our own eroticism, is not for the faint-hearted; this work of true connection to the life force, to our true selves and to the true self of another will require full attention, full commitment, full engagement.

But it is work that will bring us to the deepest pleasure, to a true knowing, to a dynamic understanding of self and our beloved, within and through an unfolding of love.

Are you ready to take this deep dive and discover the power of the erotic?

Are you ready to discover through your own erotic energy, the love that is intricately woven into your heart, body and soul?

I encourage you to take this step to manifest eros into your life and your intimate relationship.

I encourage you to be open, explore and be curious about the energy of life and nature and your own beautiful authentic self.

I encourage you to let go and let the healing energy of the life/death/life cycle transform your wounded places and the wounds within your relationship.

I am always ready to talk to clients about this process of discovery and transformation. Please reach out to me today if you want to learn more about this in your life and in your intimate relationship.

And as always, peace in the journey.


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Jane Ryan

Jane Ryan, M.A., LMFT, is a Licensed Couples and Family Therapist with twenty years of clinical experience. She specializes in intimate relationships, sexual challenges, sacred sexuality, and helping clients embrace their true erotic nature. She supports women in discovering their most radiant, vibrant and powerful feminine essence.