Category Archives for Relationships
Mutually Supportive and Authentic Relationships
I recently have been blessed with an opportunity to join a mentoring group. It is made up of therapists, like me, who desire to be the best they can be and contribute to the world in positive, transformative ways. The ways I have already benefited from this group are varied and hard to put into […]
Read More »Engagement
How engaged are you with your partner when he/she is sharing an emotion or experience? Do you find yourself thinking of other things, feeling bored, starting to feel defensive, hurrying them along so that you can talk…. Or are you fully focused on them, ask questions out of a true desire to understand their world, […]
Read More »Equanimity
Equanimity: mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation. I often start my sessions with couples asking them to write on a piece of paper three words that describe HOW they want to be during our session. This begins the process of clarifying what kind of partner they aspire to be […]
Read More »the importance of safety
“to be human, one has to be safe” unknown author. How true this is; our human-ness requires us to be vulnerable; in order to be vulnerable we need to know we are in an emotional and relational context that will support us and be safe. How do you let your partner know that they are […]
Read More »Sexual Addiction, Part Two: If not an addict, then what?
In my last post, I described the pitfalls of accepting the label of “sex addict”. But with that label being tossed around so frequently and easily today, how do we begin to think of compulsive, sexually acting out behavior in a different way? If we do not define people struggling in this way as sex addicts, […]
Read More »Sexual Addiction. Part One: The problem with the label.
The labels of sexual addiction and porn addiction are extremely prevalent these days. Upon hearing the word “addiction”, immediately, we think of having no control over something (i.e. drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex) and our energies go into controlling whatever it is we don’t have control over.In the sexual addiction model, therapists try to “help” the […]
Read More »Invitation
“We are constantly invited to be who we are.” Henry David Thoreau How do you use your life experiences, your relationships, your daily routine and rituals to live from your truest self? What feelings and thoughts come to your mind, body and spirit when you need to take a stand, speak your voice, express your […]
Read More »Understanding
Being understood is important. Feeling as if our partner “gets us” is highly valued in our society. Feeling supported is a lovely benefit of being understood. We tend to work hard at describing, explaining, defending, and rationalizing our experiences, our emotions and our perspectives with our partners, but often walk away feeling that something is […]
Read More »Your Sexual Script
When was the last time you reflected on your sexual script? Your sexual script is all of the beliefs, values, messages, “should’s” and “should-not’s” you have concerning your sexual desires and behavior. Our scripts have a huge influence on why we do what we do and why we don’t do what we don’t do, sexually. […]
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