Category Archives for Relationships

the importance of safety

“to be human, one has to be safe” unknown author. How true this is; our human-ness requires us to be vulnerable; in order to be vulnerable we need to know we are in an emotional and relational context that will support us and be safe. How do you let your partner know that they are […]

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Sexual Addiction, Part Two: If not an addict, then what?

In my last post, I described the pitfalls of accepting the label of “sex addict”. But with that label being tossed around so frequently and easily today, how do we begin to think of compulsive, sexually acting out behavior in a different way? If we do not define people struggling in this way as sex addicts, […]

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Sexual Addiction. Part One: The problem with the label.

The labels of sexual addiction and porn addiction are extremely prevalent these days.  Upon hearing the word “addiction”, immediately, we think of having no control over something (i.e. drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex) and our energies go into controlling whatever it is we don’t have control over.In the sexual addiction model, therapists try to “help” the […]

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“We are constantly invited to be who we are.” Henry David Thoreau How do you use your life experiences, your relationships, your daily routine and rituals to live from your truest self? What feelings and thoughts come to your mind, body and spirit when you need to take a stand, speak your voice, express your […]

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Being understood is important. Feeling as if our partner “gets us” is highly valued in our society. Feeling supported is a lovely benefit of being understood. We tend to work hard at describing, explaining, defending, and rationalizing our experiences, our emotions and our perspectives with our partners, but often walk away feeling that something is […]

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Your Sexual Script

When was the last time you reflected on your sexual script? Your sexual script is all of the beliefs, values, messages, “should’s” and “should-not’s” you have concerning your sexual desires and behavior. Our scripts have a huge influence on why we do what we do and why we don’t do what we don’t do, sexually. […]

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