Some might think that as a sex therapist and an intimate relationship therapist I was raised in a sex-positive, healthy family system. But this is not so.
My parents were struggling to come to terms with and recover from their childhood traumas (without professional guidance and wisdom). They wanted to prevent their own traumas from being repeated. However, their responses to the traumas they experienced were misguided and reactionary.
As they tried to not repeat their pasts, they created new dysfunctional patterns that I witnessed and experienced. As a result, my growing-up years were dominated by the adults creating unconscious reactionary patterns to multi-generational trauma. These reactions seeped into everything. Relationships, belief systems, decisions, family roles, and narratives all grew out of the desire to prevent more trauma. Unfortunately, these reactions created new traumas, unhealthy relational patterns, fear-based responses, rigidity, and crisis-oriented dynamics.
It is sad to realize that all of this occurred within a family system attempting to heal from past pain and create some semblance of stability, health, and peace.
Within my family system I did not learn how to nurture and protect my body.
I was not taught how to honor and regulate my emotions.
Boundaries and consent were not part of how my family functioned.
Sex was approached from a negative and fear-based mentality.
I was shamed for my introversion and intuitive energy.
Pleasure, joy, peace, the freedom to express one’s true nature and one’s unique sexuality, and an abiding respect for differences, were absent as I grew up.
By my early teens, I internalized most of this pain by abusing my body through starvation and bingeing, numbing and withdrawing, depression/anxiety, and perfectionism.
Gradually I healed.
My love for dance and movement, helped me to connect to my body with a new awareness.
My love for nature and the ocean, the night sky, and the wilderness called me home over and over again.
My love to meditate, to use my third eye, and my intuitive soul wisdom allowed me to heal, soothe, and expand my perspective.
My love for creativity and deep authentic expression allowed me to embrace my sexual expression and commit myself to a life of relational, spiritual, and erotic liberation.
I found therapists, healers, and mentors who guided me, believed in me, taught me, embraced me, and cherished me.
I learned how to love and honor my mind, body, and spirit. I learned what it meant to create healthy relationships and to create strong, clear boundaries.
As I healed, my desire to help others do the same, grew.
And so here I am, 20+ years of being a psychotherapist with a specialty in sex and intimate relationships, guiding others on their soul journey.
What Inspires Me
- The changing seasons, the feminine spirit found in the flow of water and emotions, the grounded nourishing support we receive from Mother Earth, the transformative energy of fire, and the life-sustaining power of breath.
- The beauty and wisdom of the cosmos, the cycles of the moon, and how it teaches us to accept the power of the birth/death/rebirth cycle.
- The power of humans to heal, grow and thrive even after deeply challenging and sometimes, traumatic circumstances.
- The fluidity of movement and music, creativity, and dreams.
- Those subtle, fleeting moments when we connect to our soul; when past, present, and future intersect and crystallize the meaning and purpose of our existence.
- The moments of pure joy during which we feel at peace and connected to the Spirit of life, love, and light.
I am a life-long seeker who integrates knowledge and science with mysticism and the influence of the Spiritual World.
I am always striving to learn more, deepen my understanding of my purpose and path, and discover how to use my gifts for the collective good.
I recently took a class by Asia Suler, that focused on understanding one’s gifts through the foundation of Earth Healing Archetypes.
These words by Asia Suler truly resonated with how I practice as a therapist, how I live, how I move throughout the world and within my relationships, and who I am as a human being:
- The ability to go deep and find light in places where others only find darkness.
- Motivated to understand the underpinnings of things, including the unconscious.
- Not afraid of the deep end, and having a highly valued and profound connection with the soul.
- Not here for small talk or surface relationships.
- Values the work that focuses on bringing the gift of understanding to the Earth, to be a guide on the human journey, and to help others connect to the realm of the soul.
- From a young age, being able to see beyond facades to perceive the deep truth of any situation.
- Innate meaning-maker— always wanting to understand the deeper currents going on beneath the surface.
- Possesses an innate talent for what others call “shadow” work.
- Help other people reconnect to the wisdom of their bodies and re-establish trust in the soul’s journey.
- Usually become talented therapists, psychologists, healers, and guides or are natural shamans, intuitive, and root-workers.
- Wilderness guides for the souls – they are here to help all those who came to Earth to heal. Have the ability to stay grounded when things get deep because they have usually moved through particularly challenging things in their own lives.
- My own soul descent has made me very familiar with the profundity of the human journey.
- Psychically sensitive, and sometimes get bogged down in the unprocessed material of the human psyche or the collective trauma.
- Needs time away from people in order to re-find their own roots.
This encapsulates who I am, and is what I bring to the therapy process.
Wilderness Guide for the Soul:
To me, the phrase “Wilderness Guide for the Soul”, is just another way I understand what it means to be a therapist and how I practice my craft.
To claim our true belonging and to find that sacred place of “home” within ourselves, we must learn to heal from past traumas whether they are from direct experience or generationally passed down to us from parents, grandparents, and ancestors.
We must remember, return to, and reclaim our authentic purpose and our life path, so that we are free to live our best lives, thriving in joy and health.
We must discover and be one with our authentic purpose and our life path.
We must learn how to cultivate authentic intimacy with ourselves and with other loved ones.
When we open ourselves to the luminous magic of this life’s journey, dream by dream, experience by experience, relationship by relationship, step by step, we are led home to a place of peace, belonging, well-being, and thriving.