Sex, Intimacy, and Healing

Sex and intimacy. Two essential aspects of our health and well-being. Two essential aspects of strong, healthy partnerships.

Sexuality is a crucial component of our entire human experience. If our sexual life and relationships are thriving, we feel:

  • Fully alive
  • Strong
  • Empowered
  • Loved
  • Wanted
  • Desired
  • Secure
  • Seen
  • Valued
  • Joyful

When we can develop confident, empowered sexual identities and can express ourselves in this confident, joyful and empowered way, we create satisfying, affirming, loving, life-giving experiences and interactions.

If we choose it to be so, sexuality can be a powerful conduit for love.

It has tremendous potential to restore a sense of connection to self and others; a sense of wholeness; a sense of TRULY being ALIVE.

Sexuality, and the infinitely vast ways in which humans express it has a liminal quality and essence all its own. Meaning it has its own mysterious, spiritual and sacred connection to the life force of the universe.

Its mystery and sacredness offer us respite from the daily stressors, the mundane routines, and the moments of human despair.

Sexuality in all its healing power and erotic energy is a portal into our true authentic nature, into found treasures of our unique capacities to give and receive love, into pure and complete acceptance (of self and other).

Its mystery and sacredness offer us respite from the chaos of the present, the wounds of our past, and the fears of our future.

Sexuality offers us the experience of being fully in our bodies, being fully in the present moment, and giving and receiving without judgment, shame, cultural constraints.

The Shadow-Side of Sex

However, for many of us, this is not the experience of sex.

Often, humans experience the shadow side of sexuality; which is the side in which we experience the destructiveness of betrayal, trauma, pain and grief, exclusion, judgment, shame, isolation, rejection, and deep disconnection from self and other.

And when humans experience the shadow side of sexuality, it is so profound, that we can even lose faith and hope in the healing, transformative power of love.

If our sexual life and relationships are suffering, it is difficult to feel fully alive and engaged with life. We know something is missing. And usually, we blame either ourselves or our partners, which then makes our suffering even greater.

Ryan Therapy Services is passionate about helping clients explore their own and their partner (s) eroticism and sexuality in a sex-positive, non-judgmental, supportive context.

We help clients of all sexual identities:

  • Heal old wounds from cultural, family, religious, patriarchal, heteronormative, sexist, racist, privileged messages.
  • Re-write these sexual scripts and beliefs that have been absorbed since birth.
  • Create new maps, new language, and new paradigms that welcome the uniqueness of true sexual liberation.
  • Expand your definition of pleasure.
  • Expand your ideas of your own sexual self and how you want to express this.
  • Identify and release obstacles and challenges within yourselves, within your relationships and within your lives which may be preventing you from experiencing a sense of deep connection and belonging, pleasure and joy, and the satisfaction and fulfillment that comes from embracing your true, erotic and sexual nature.

A Sex-Positive Approach

Many cultural forces work to define sex from a negative, shame-based and fear-based perspective. As a result of these powerful cultural influences, many individuals struggle with feelings of anxiety, shame, and guilt around their own sexuality. Adding to this, for many of us, is a lack of quality sexual education.

A sex-positive approach is a way of thinking about sex and integrating sexuality into one’s life and relationships with acceptance, a non-judgmental attitude, curiosity, respect, and trust. It embraces all kinds of sexual activity and expression as long as it is consensual and does not hurt others.

It moves away from thinking about sex from a “performance-based” model and moves toward thinking about sex as a positive, loving force originating in one’s deepest erotic self.

Please Reach Out Today

If your heart and soul deeply desires a more fulfilling, satisfying, and intimate sexual experience, Ryan Therapy Services invites you to take the next step and call for an appointment today.

It is Time

Time to honor yourself, your partner(s) and your intimate relationship(s).

Time to prioritize your sexuality and recognize it as an essential component of your overall well-being and quality of life.

Ryan Therapy Services is inviting you to explore your own sexuality and your partner’s(s) sexuality, especially if:

  • You struggle to express your deepest desires for fear of rejection, being judged or misunderstood.
  • You want to open up to your partner, both emotionally and physically, but you were taught as a child to never allow yourself to be vulnerable.
  • You experience guilt, shame, anxiety, a feeling of inadequacy or fear in your sexual experiences.
  • You define asking for what you want as “selfish” and so you avoid being clear about your wants, desires, hopes, etc.
  • You are afraid to or do not know how to, talk to your partner about what you want sexually. You know what you want, but are afraid of being judged.
  • You do not know what you want sexually but are aware that some of your ideas and beliefs about sex no longer fit for you.
  • You are having frequent sex, but do not enjoy the sex you are having.
  • You are not having sex as much as you would like.
  • You worry that your partner is no longer attracted to you; or, you are no longer attracted to your partner.
  • You can’t relax during sex and find yourself being self-critical or distracted.
  • You struggle with giving clear consent and setting clear boundaries and often say “yes” to avoid conflict or your partner’s sense of rejection.
  • You struggle in receiving your partner(s) messages about their consent and feel rejected when they set boundaries.
  • You are interested in sexual activities that your partner is not interested in.
  • You experience body shame and want to be free from the diet culture mentality.
  • You feel objectified, disrespected, isolated and alone.
  • You struggle to cultivate a sense of sexual confidence, an empowered sexual voice and feel that you do not know who you are erotically.
  • You have a satisfying sexual life, but want to learn how you and your partner can explore more

Learn more about Sacred Sexuality by visiting our Sacred Sexuality Frequently Asked Questions page.

Ryan Therapy Services can help you and your partner cultivate a sustainably vibrant, intimate, sexual relationship. Get started today.