the importance of safety

“to be human, one has to be safe” unknown author. How true this is; our human-ness requires us to be vulnerable; in order to be vulnerable we need to know we are in an emotional and relational context that will support us and be safe. How do you let your partner know that they are […]

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Sexual Addiction, Part Two: If not an addict, then what?

In my last post, I described the pitfalls of accepting the label of “sex addict”. But with that label being tossed around so frequently and easily today, how do we begin to think of compulsive, sexually acting out behavior in a different way? If we do not define people struggling in this way as sex addicts, […]

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Sexual Addiction. Part One: The problem with the label.

The labels of sexual addiction and porn addiction are extremely prevalent these days.  Upon hearing the word “addiction”, immediately, we think of having no control over something (i.e. drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex) and our energies go into controlling whatever it is we don’t have control over.In the sexual addiction model, therapists try to “help” the […]

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Accepting Ourselves

I’ve been thinking more and more about the prevalence and insidiousness of body hatred… most women learn to buy into negative messages from family, media, and the larger culture about their body at a really early age. My favorite psychoanalyst, Clarissa Pinkola Estes, writes about this in Women Who Run with the Wolves. Here is […]

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Invitation

“We are constantly invited to be who we are.” Henry David Thoreau How do you use your life experiences, your relationships, your daily routine and rituals to live from your truest self? What feelings and thoughts come to your mind, body and spirit when you need to take a stand, speak your voice, express your […]

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Sex as a Microcosm of Life

Sex and each individual’s unique sexuality can be a microcosm of life’s experiences. Our sexual experiences contain all the aspects of life we struggle with, yearn for, strive to understand, make peace with and accept. If we are conscious and aware throughout our sexuality activities, we will find these treasures and challenges of life: our […]

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from Peter Levine, In An Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and REstores Goodness

“This shifting evokes one of the most important reconnections to the body’s innate wisdom: the experience of pendulation, the body’s natural, restorative rhythm of contraction and expansion that tells us that whatever is felt is time-limited…that suffering will not last forever. Pendulation carries all living creatures through difficult sensations and emotions. What’s more, it requires […]

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Embracing your true self

  (From Sexuality with Tanesha H.D.)

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Understanding

Being understood is important. Feeling as if our partner “gets us” is highly valued in our society. Feeling supported is a lovely benefit of being understood. We tend to work hard at describing, explaining, defending, and rationalizing our experiences, our emotions and our perspectives with our partners, but often walk away feeling that something is […]

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Busyness

from Be Nourished May 5 at 4:24pm · “If busyness can become a kind of violence, we do not have to stretch our perception very far to see that Sabbath time – effortless, nourishing rest – can invite a healing of this violence. When we consecrate a time to listen to the still, small voices, […]

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